Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
