I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Randomize
