My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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