btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
