Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
