watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
