I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Randomize
