He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
