well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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