Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize