this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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