how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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