i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Randomize
