i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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