Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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