But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
