You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
