weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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