Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
