Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
