it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize