i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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