East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
