Apparently you make a good broom.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
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