have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
