When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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