Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
