just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
