I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
