college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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