One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
