I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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