Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
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