I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
