she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
She's the barista slut.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
God, I missed his penis.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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