I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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