im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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