Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Randomize
