your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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