her vagine was all disorganized.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
