Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
My vagina is officially offended.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
