Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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