Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
