Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
