Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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