and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
