If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
