this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
