road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
