I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
