Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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