I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
