nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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