Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
