You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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