So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize