It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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