3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize
