I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
