She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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