two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
