Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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