I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
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