so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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