i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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