So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
